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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Nun Falsely Blames Black Man for Rape, Later Recants Story

The New York Daily News is reporting that a Brooklyn nun called police last week claiming she had been sexually assaulted by a 6'4", 250 pound black man who was around 40... no wait 50, yeah that's the ticket, he was 50 years old.

The 26-year-old white woman claimed she was headed back to her convent (pictured above), just minding her own business, when a hulking black man ambushed her, choked her and then dragged her eight blocks (all while in her full nun's habit), before raping her and leaving her unconscious in a snow bank. In New York, it's been snowing a lot!

She said that when she woke up, her underwear was down and her breasts were exposed for all of God's children to see. She called the police and told them all about what this mean black man had done to her.

Police released a sketch and put out an alert asking for the public's help in locating this sinister, black nun-raper. The sketch looked a lot like Satan!

However, police became suspicious, finding it very hard to believe that some big black dude carrying a white unconscious nun in a full habit, would have gone unnoticed for eight blocks. Even in New York.

Meanwhile, the victim was treated at a local hospital and ultimately returned to her convent to seek counsel from her Mother Superior.
Well, Mother Superior must have dropped some serious religion on the young woman because before you could say "thou shalt not lie" the nun contacted police and recanted the entire story.

She explained that she had made up the whole thing in an effort to cover up a sexual relationship she was having with a local bodega worker that she sneaked into the back door of the convent for sexytime. This is just like Trapped in the Closet!

When the New York Daily News attempted to contact the young nun, a woman in religious garb answered the door and identified the nun as "Mary Turcotte." She went on to state that the young woman had suffered an "emotional break" and just made everything up. She even claims that her bodega boyfriend was a figment of the nun's imagination, as well.

"Nothing happened, none of it... it was all proven to be false... she is going to move out and we are going to get her some help," said the woman who refused to give her name. Hell, I'd refuse to give my name too.

Reports indicate that the nun belongs to a fringe Christian sect called the "Apostles of Infinite Love." It is said to be linked to a Canadian religious order founded in the 1960s by a defrocked Catholic priest who then ordained himself Pope. They have been described as a cult-like group and have successfully fended off sexual allegations in the past. In other words, they sound like a bunch of nuts.

Police have not charged Turcotte (if that is her real name) with a crime. Yet.

This is no way to start Black History Month.

On the bright side, this is another victory for the Mysterious Unknown Black Man! He is vindicated yet again.

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